Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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