I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
