i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
