honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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