I'm jealous of your bromance
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
