don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
