Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize
