no, he came in my armpit
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize