Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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