Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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