I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I forget how to act sober
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize