let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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