Do vagina's smell?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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