So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
