i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
