Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
