he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
