420 ftw
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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