addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
