She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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