so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
