I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
