he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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