i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
