I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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