when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
