What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
