hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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