we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
