i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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