It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
