i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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