When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
