So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
