we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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