Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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