butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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