I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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