i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Damn victory sex feels great
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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