the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
