are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
