in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Your cock deserves a montage
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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