I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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