I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she looked like the before picture.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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