Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
