I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
