We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
