I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
