Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
