dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we're making bets on your personal life
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
