You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
