Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize