Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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