i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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