How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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