yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
