and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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