May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
