I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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