I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
