just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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